Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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