Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
