Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
