what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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