whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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