U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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