I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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