I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
