Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
