covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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