I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
