she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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