I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
