The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
