I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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