he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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