Do you still have your period?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm really busy with my period
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