is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
