I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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