True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
