just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
