i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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