The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
