So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
