you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I touched a dick in church today
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
