I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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