there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As shirtless as possible
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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