That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
