Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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