i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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