Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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