she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
