Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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