is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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