5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
