So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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