I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
