i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
