I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
