its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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