I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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