The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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