someone get that fucking seahorse.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
