brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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