There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
