we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
