So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
