new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
