oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
