I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
