I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
