broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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