is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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