i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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