Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
