The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
